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Ray
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Founder
Posts: 2,517
PC ID: 3907-2051-387
3ds: 0087-2289-4754
Switch: 4441-4203-7439
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Post by Ray on Mar 29, 2018 14:30:08 GMT
Mimi the Great - You're good at literature/writing right? Review this for me lol! I'm feeling in a romantic mood so i've written a poem for my loved one. It is pretty metaphorical/symbolic so it might not be readily apparent the meaning. I'm not an amazing writer either but thought i'd share, let me know what you guys think xD ----------------------------------------------
My view is laden with brightness. A bowl of cherries without the humour. I settle for just the bowl. My seat is warm.
The lustre of cloaked heat. The window grows wider. Blinding light fills the room. My seat is hot.
The crescent moon escapes my grasp. I forget the string. And then I see the real you. And then I get up.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2018 13:17:56 GMT
So short yet so meaningful!
YOU'RE SO CUTE FOR DOING THIS. Did you show it to him? I'm curious about the reaction xD
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I'm Sunny. I'm from Texas. Tacos are my love language.
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Sunny
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Moderator
Posts: 58
3ds: 3110-8549-1362
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Post by Sunny on Jul 13, 2018 15:19:00 GMT
@ray, tell me if this is somehow not uh, appropriate for the server, but this is based off of two experiences I've encountered IRL so...it's a picture poem kinda. Like, I think it makes an image of someone standing (like a side profile, but what do I know ---- Here's hoping this formats the right way.)
Object
I am an object. Much like a warm steak that he devours for his noon meal.
Emotion is not necessary, I am not to be heard, just seen. His eyes cover me like a thick blanket, but instead of warming me, they chill me to the bone.
He doesn’t see the pain, the ache the little girl in ribbons, wishing for her own white dress.
His words flatter, and smother but instead of filling me with hope they fill me with dread.
I am the object of his lust.
I am always the object.
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Ray
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Founder
Posts: 2,517
PC ID: 3907-2051-387
3ds: 0087-2289-4754
Switch: 4441-4203-7439
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Post by Ray on Jul 13, 2018 16:23:33 GMT
No it's fine, but damn it's really deep. At first i was like haha...steak but then i read on and was like...oh wow.
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I'm Sunny. I'm from Texas. Tacos are my love language.
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Sunny
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Moderator
Posts: 58
3ds: 3110-8549-1362
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Post by Sunny on Jul 13, 2018 19:42:30 GMT
Hahaha, thank you. Lemme see if I can find another one... WordsOld words are a time machine, Taking me away from here, And putting me somewhere else.
The problem is…no one else can see the dust from my travel.
This one was randomly written down in my notebook somewhere.
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